You used to Think that was Cute about Me
66What's the matter with you?..
You do something you have ALWAYS done since before you two have met and his/her reaction "God your/thats annoying!" or something horrific along those lines. Why is he/she being this way? Is this the end of our relationship?
Okay So your reading this because you or a friend is having issues with their partner and you just cant figure out where things went wrong and what you can do about it! First I'm going to tell you how it started Second What you did wrong and Last but not least the Solutions to this timeless problem.
The Fighting Begins
There is always the one BIG fight or a lot of tiny ones that turn into Battles! You guys start fighting a lot not just in private but in front of other people.. Family, friends, neighbors. Its about something that you both could easily compromise on but your still having a struggle over the reigns of your relationship so instead of agree to disagree you both battle it out! Winner takes all. OR some people start with little comments under your breath little remarks here and there that don't turn into an argument just yet but they definitely don't make you closer and its unnoticeable at first! So here is the beginning does this sound familiar? Now if your sitting here reading this and you have said to yourself Yep he/she does all of this or Yep its all them! Then either your right and your in a dead end relationship now if thats true then theres no way you love this person and you should leave them! Because who could love a Complete selfish ass? Not you! So unless your self destructive and insist on loving jerks who treat you bad then you need to pay attention cause this next part is important!
Where YOU went Wrong
Now answer me this, Did you or did you not lose your temper and say something like "I hate you" or "you Asshole" or "Fuck you" or Something terrible that the minute it left your lips you knew you were going to feel bad about it later!? (long Question but is it true?) If it is i hardly need to tell you what you have done wrong because you know more then I what you've done! You have gotten angry, got upset and said something that you KNOW your partner is insecure about and you cant take it back! Or maybe you have cheated on him/her and they know about it or it shows in your "I could find another lover at ANYTIME if I wanted to! So remember it!" attitude!
What are my Options?
Let me start off by saying there is no way to undo the hurt but there is a way to reverse the effects!
So what are the Solutions? Its going to take about a month to move on from this unbearable stage Now you need to suck it up and bite your tongue for a month saying nothing to upset your partner! (I know its not all your fault but be an adult if you want this thing to work because other wise.. Option one is for you)
ONE You could Leave them because its Obvious both your attitudes are not going to change over night and there's no way you can hold your tongue until its gotten better!
TWO Agree as often as possible and if you dont agree then just nod and smile it works wonders! If you have something bad to say write it down a bunch of times and then rip it up into tiny pieces! ( does wonders for your attitude) If you have a fight Then take a shower, take a walk, draw, nap, take a swim, go see your mother! Anything to keep you from saying stupid things because you know you will regret it!
THREE Take a Break! Not too long just long enough for you both to forgive each other maybe 4-8 days and then option TWO takes affect!
STICK TO THE PLAN! Because one mistake sends you back to where you started and if your serious about keeping your man/woman then don't mess it up!
When the month is over you guys will be in love again BUT dont you dare go back to the way things were! Remember take a walk!
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It sounds to me like your tired of all the little things adding up...making the bed and such. And i dont know your partner but I personally think its horrible to try and convince someone that something happened when you know in your heart its not true.....that is not very nice and no one deserves that. And about the throw pillows..ur so silly =D
Little things do start to grate in relationships if they are not nipped in the bud at an early stage. The problem is that people do not communicate enough and these little things escalate. Great hub!
Very true ^_^ Thats almost exactly what I was telling my sister the other day. thank you
tom hellert Level 7 Commenter 2 years ago
Interesting advice for people who don't have short term memory issues like i do. When someone has three strokes like i did I can say some stupid things and not remember saying them - HONestLy sometimes I don't even usually don't even fight anymore because i can't tell what i did and why. Although I do catch her sometimes trying to say i did things that i NEVER EVER HAVE DONE and it isso counterintuitive to my core, then she admits she was just testing me Its never anything big usually small goofy stuff. :ike making the beds-when the cats make a mrss of the throw pillows- I don't understand them but i know i gotta stackem in the morning... good post communication is important and essential for any relationship